A visit to the Dietitian

Today I had an appointment with a dietitian. In preparation for this appointment, last night I googled 'questions to ask a dietician' and came up with some, well, unusual responses.

• Ask what your BMR is
• Ask what your BMI is
• Ask what your TDEE is

Wow! You might as well have told me to ask what my C3PO is for all the sense that the above made to me! Surely diet is a bit more simple than that?

As most will know, I have Ulcerative Colitis which does cause a little bit of trouble for me in the bowel department. Most people conclude that diet plays little to no part in the causing of, or the treatment of Ulcerative Colitis. Now I'm not a medical professional - far from it - but I have never been able to understand why most experts believe that what you eat doesn't make a difference to a disease that is all about the bowel. But that's just me.

So, being one to ignore people and find things out for myself, I have, over the last 7 years (since diagnosis) tried a variety of elimination diets to determine what I can and cannot eat. Or should and should not eat. Unfortunately, even by keeping a detailed food diary, I couldn't pinpoint any particular foods or groups of food that consistently had an effect on how I felt physically.

I was coming to the conclusion that all foods hated me.

Then, of course, there is the link with mental health. When I'm feeling low, that certainly does affect what I eat, how much I eat and if I eat. And how I feel afterwards.

So - what to do? My doctor decided to refer me to the dietitian for some help and advice and I was keen to go.

Other than the rather baffling questions above - I specifically wanted to know whether I was intolerant to gluten, to lactose or some other crazy thing! Basically, what should I eat, or not eat, to make me feel better?

This is probably a good time to mention, rather ashamedly, that my diet is, erm, not the best. I don't drink a lot of fizzy juices, I don't eat takeaways and I don't tend to drink alcohol. Good? Well...

I do eat a lot of chocolate, sweets and chocolate. Oh, and chocolate.

If I'm ever too tired to eat, don't have anything planned or am just looking for a pick me up, I turn to chocolate. Sure it hurts my stomach, but so does most food and I figure that at least I'm not eating full meals AND chocolate!

I know, I know - it all sounds a wee bit silly when you write it down but, as the dietitian mentioned today, food is such a big part of our lives, but it's also routine. You can almost switch off when you're doing it because it's so... normal.

So, the dietitian...

I went in and told my story, as above. She then asked me the question that I had dreaded - what have you eaten today? I answered truthfully that I had eaten an apple. And a chocolate orange. By this time it was 2.30pm so there were more things about that statement that were shameful than you would first think. I was trying to defend myself when I realised that my excuse was that I wouldn't have had the chocolate orange but my colleague didn't want to eat his birthday cake until the afternoon so I had to have something other than cake for breakfast/lunch.

As excuses go - it's pretty shit.

Luckily for me, the dietitian has seen it all - heard it all.

Then she said something that surprised me. She said that my first issue is making sure that I eat consistently.

What - does it not matter what I eat?

Of course it does but I was told to take it one step at a time. My first task is to eat consistently.

As the dietitian pointed out, on some mornings I'm eating breakfast, and others not. Then sometimes I eat lunch at 12noon, sometimes 1.30pm and sometimes not at all. Tea is rather the same story. So, my bowels, already not in pristine health, are being overwhelmed. When will she eat? What will she eat? It's very possible that my stomach isn't reacting to the food itself, but the fact that sometimes it gets healthy food, sometimes it gets unhealthy food and sometimes nothing at all.

It's an interesting thought and one which I hadn't actually considered before.

So, before I can decide if I have any intolerances, I have to make sure my body knows when it will get food and to feed it with consistent portions with protein, veggies and carbs in each meal. Only then will my stomach settle down enough to be able to conclusively say whether it's the food that affecting me or just the inconsistent diet and schedule.

So, as appointments go - it was useful.

And at least she didn't tell me to avoid chocolate, biscuits and good stuff over the Christmas period! Double bonus!

I claim you! (Or, Claiming your Bloglovin' Blog)

Follow my blog with Bloglovin
 
Although I was never a user of Google Reader, I was aware of the controversy when they axed it. Ironically enough, the big hoohah was probably the best piece of free marketing for all the other websites that allow you to follow your favourite blog. You couldn't pay for that kind of exposure. Well, you could, but you'd be bankrupt.

So this is where I learned about Bloglovin'.

As I played about, I was advised to "claim my blog". This sounded slightly primitive and definitely something I wanted to do. Who hasn't dreamed of claiming something in their own name? Okay, maybe just me!!

In Bloglovin', you press the little blue heart and choose to edit your settings.

Halfway down the page you'll see a button called 'Blogs by me'. Click to add your own blog.

It's time for the claiming. Click that claim blog button!

Now just add the name of your blog and search. If your blog doesn't come up the first time, try a few alternatives and it will suddenly appear.

When your blog appears in the list, click to claim. Yay!

Now some html code appears, asking you to add to your blog.

The html code that appears is thus:

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

So, what happens then?

Don't do what I did and get so confused that you go through the process about a hundred times! Then, you read the text that says, some blogs require you to put the provided html at the top of the blog post. Ooops.

Then don't do what I did next and keep going round in circles again.

Keep the window that has the code open. Now go to a separate window and add the code to your blog post - at the top just to be safe!

Once you've published your post, return to the window on Bloglovin' and press the button to claim your blog.

You are now taken to a page where you can change details about your blog on Bloglovin' to make it easier for new readers to find you.

You can add a description, thumbnail and category. It's like social media for blogs!

There's also a nice little statistic tracker where you can watch your followers as they (hopefully) go on the up and up!

You'll also get a shiny email with 5 top tips to find those readers. Good times.

So that's what I learned today. Every day's a school day!

Numb

I'm beginning to wonder if the depression medication actually takes away the emotions or if it just suppresses them.

I am back at work today after a week off to use up my holidays before my contract ends at the end of the month. I wasn't looking forward to going back but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be when I worked at the bakery. (I didn't really work at a bakery - I'm just just substituting so I don't break out in a panic at the mere mention of the real name of the company I used to work for. I would *love* to work in a bakery!!)

Despite this, there are things going on at work, plots afoot (afeet?) and mind games being played - the kind of office politics that go hand in hand with most office jobs.

It's exhausting.

I feel emotionally drained and have learnt today that I'm considered even more superfluous than I could possibly have imagined. There's an interesting saying by Eleanor Roosevelt: "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent. As much as I like this quote, I don't completely agree. If people are mentally beating you on a regular basis, it's just not possible to think well of yourself when they constantly tell you you're worthless. Or worse, imply that you are. At least if someone straight out tells you to your face, you can refute it. If it's said behind your back...

So, onto my question...

... here I sit. I've driven home, made my tea and now I have no obligations until tomorrow at 9am.

I'm just sitting here.

I feel like I should be crying.

I feel like I should be crying like my heart is breaking.

Instead I feel a little detached. Numb.

To be honest, I'm not sure which is better.

I feel a little lost.

I am what I am...

...and what I am, needs no excuses!

Snow and the London Underground

Snow, snow, snow, snow, snowwwwww! (Fans of festive movies must sing that part!)

Yesterday was terribly windy but, for us at least, not as crazy as the wonderful hurricane bawbag from a couple of years ago. The Forth Road Bridge did close for a while and all our trains were suspended but apart from that we managed to escape much of the madness.

I have always thought that I would fit in well with the survivalists who are ready for any emergency that comes their way. I have no desire for there to be emergencies but I do like the planning and preparation that goes into being prepared! So, yesterday I calmly took stock of my bottled water, candles, non-perishable food and snow shovel. Just in case.

Then I went shopping.

There were a couple of flurries of snow and while it's still lying, it looks more like someone dusted the ground with icing sugar or polystyrene balls!

The first 'proper' snow of our season (I live in relatively low land and by the coast so while the slopes have been open for at least a month - we've seen nowt so far!) is set for tonight. The clouds are close and ominous and I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully it will give us a nice flurry - just enough to make it pretty but not too much that we all get stranded!

I love snow! I love Christmas! Put the two together and you get one happy bunny!

Now for the London Underground part of my day. Apart from driving round the outskirts of London on my way to Dover, I have never been there. It's on my wishlist but not something I've done quite yet.

Anyway, regardless of that, I have been battling with a game on sporcle for at least a couple of months now. It's something that I come back to every now and then - determined to list each and every one of the 268 tube stations using groupings of three letters! Bizarre and slightly pointless but a challenge nonetheless.

Today I did it!!!

Proof:

It's the small things in life!

A healthy mind in a healthy body...

I went to the German Christmas Market in Edinburgh today - a family Christmas tradition that I very much enjoy. More on that later... but while I was there I did something that I have been determined to do for a while - I visited a psychic.

I'm not actually sure if psychic is the correct term but she was of gypsy origin and her family had always had 'the gift of sight'. She read palms and tarot and given the choice, I chose to have my tarot read. This wasn't for any particular reason - I just had to pick one and that's the choice that I felt like making at the time. As hard as it was for me, I was trying not to overthink things overly much!

To say that I was nervous was a massive understatement. My mum had waited with me in the bleeding cold for about 40 minutes while I waited my turn and she kept me sane (ish) during the wait. Thanks, mama!

After my reading, I felt (and still feel) a little overwhelmed by everything that she said. I'm not going to go into the details of what she revealed to me but let me just say that it was comforting and motivating at the same time. I have a bad habit of chickening out of things at the last minute so I'm glad I had people there to persuade me to go ahead with this.

So now I feel I have a little direction. Actually, I have belief in my own direction which is so much better.

When I came home, I spotted the word sophrosyne and this seemed hugely fitting for how I'm now feeling.

Let's go.

Happiness is...

It's been a tough week. As I'm determined to see the good in things - I will admit that despite all that has been going on, I have had a little bit of a wake up call as to how my illness (depression rather than UC) must have affected my family.

I have always been grateful of the way that my family have stood with me as I fell to my lows. They have given me advice and, when I didn't want to hear anything, they just held my hand and let me know they were there for me.

This last week, however, I have learned to appreciate them even more and am even more thankful for everything that they have done for me.

So the things that have been keeping me happy this particular week are...

Christmas started in my house with my trusty Christmas desktop and my fab USB lights:

The next bit of Christmassy goodness came when I attended my first Christmas concert of the season. The singing was superb (perhaps not so much the tunes with audience participation!) and I also doubled up by having my first mince pie and mulled wine of 2013. Needless to say, it will also be the last mulled wine I have this year! Mulled wine always seems like something that should taste delicious... but it's howfing. Plus, I haven't had any alcohol since my Snowball (retro 70s - yeah!) last Christmas so even a small glass gave me a good ol' glow!!

 



My tree is up! This is a picture of it in the daytime and everyone knows that Christmas trees are most magical at night so expect another picture soon!

I've also started a new book. Sarah MacLean's 'No Good Duke Goes Unpunished'. It's a historical romance and even though it's not a festive read - it arrived in the post the other day (I pre-ordered it in May in case anyone's reading this and thinks I broke the 'don't buy yourself anything in the run up to Christmas' rule!) and I just had to start reading it right away. The chilly nights, bundled up warm and toasty on the couch covered in a crochet blanket. Add in a cup of tea and book - what could be better?

And, of course, being Christmas, we have to get a cheesy pic of people snogging under the mistletoe! Or under the angel and rudolph headbands at the very least!

It's the little things!