Back in the dating game...

I suppose that this year I have been very selfish in that I'm trying to concentrate on making myself happy. Not that I've been neglecting those that I love - at least I hope not. It's just that day by day I'm trying to take back my life and do so by my own rules, dreams and goals.

Today's thinking may seem a little frivolous to some but part of my goal to be happy includes having a partner to share my life with. Not that I need someone to make me happy - I just want to find someone to be happy with.

I dated minimally in school, just as minimally in University, other than a few fleeting distractions (and disasters!) I have pretty much put my hope into online dating. Not to much success, mind you, but I'm an introvert and don't really enjoy parties, nights out etc etc so this seems like my only option.

After my last round of internet dating I decided (again) that it wasn't for me. But now (again) I'm beginning to waver and wonder whether I should give it another go. As I just mentioned - I don't really have many other options and I'd quite like to not just accept my transformation to the spinster-side of the street will soon be complete.

There's just one problem.

As part of my new way of thinking, I refuse to be anyone but myself (easier said than done but that's for another day). I would rather be alone than with someone who didn't know the real me and didn't accept me - flaws, quirks and all. I don't want any time wasters. I don't want anyone who isn't going to be in something for the long haul (I'm not getting any younger, after all!). And that's not to mention all the superficial/shallow things that I would prefer but wouldn't want to be forced to admit that they would be a deal breaker (tall, older, etc...).

Basically I know what I want and if I went internet dating I wouldn't want to settle for any less.

Do you see what this one problem might be?

Yep - I've become a dating-zilla.

In the beginning I was all optimistic and happy.

Then doubts starting creeping in (along with the weirdos).

And now it's rage-a-holic, scary lady who is just a little bit freaky with what's 'supposed' to be and what's not allowed.

Then I realised - I'm the dating equivalent of Phoebe from Friends when she tries her hand at collecting donations for Christmas.

Oh dear...