Damn the blips...

I had a little blip today, mentally speaking.

I've narrowed it down to a few things that are happening in my life, friends wise, that have upset me a little bit.

For various reasons, I've always pushed people away who try to get too close to me. I no longer speak to anyone from my school days, university and really only speak to other people that I've connected with through the years on Facebook - which I rarely look at.

I am a card carrying introvert who also has depression and anxiety, so that's not really unexpected - I just sometimes wish I could find people that I connect with who I will want to let into my quiet little world. I often think I've found a few of those precious friends but it always turns out that they don't like me quite as much as I like them. I remember birthdays, notice little things, ask and am interested in people but no-one seems to take that much care with me. Oh, I'm no saint, not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and a giant pain in the ass - but I often feel like I put other people first while I'm quite low down on their lists if I'm on their lists at all.

I saw this quote on Pinterest (where else?) and it really spoke to how I'm feeling today.

I just wish that I could find friends who will jump more than puddles for me.

Thank goodness for my family who always stick by me and understand that my depression isn't going to be cured overnight. They would cross oceans just as I would for them.